


I Heard It From You

by zellymaybloom



Series: 50 Day Personal Writing Challenge [15]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Confession, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 11:43:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11230221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zellymaybloom/pseuds/zellymaybloom
Summary: ipnersfoi here ya go. Less late than the last few days niceeee. Today's prompt was "Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to." Anyway, tell me any typos please!





	I Heard It From You

**Author's Note:**

> ipnersfoi here ya go. Less late than the last few days niceeee. Today's prompt was "Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to." Anyway, tell me any typos please!

It was three am. Michael was still lying awake. He was lost in thought, fixated on Halloween night. It had happened months ago; Jeremy was fine now. He should be thankful that he it was all over. Yet, their brief exchange in the bathroom, barely three minutes, still haunted him. He wasn’t sure if Jeremy even remembered still, but Michael certainly did. He was insulted and then abandoned by his best friend, and it couldn’t be blamed on a computer. When he was called a loser, that was Jeremy talking. It hurt. His best friend for years, the one who was always there for him, had just thrown him away. No discernible guilt or regret. How hard was it for him to say that? How  _ easy _ was it for him to say that? His mind was whirling with doubts and anxieties and soon he found it hard to breathe.

Michael bolted upright, trying to calm himself down. He got out of bed and started pacing the room, frantically wiping his tears. The darkness was no help; it was a blank canvas for him to project onto. His tired and miserable mind chose to project the night of the incident.

Suddenly in the blink of an eye, his overactive imagination whooshed him away to the Jake’s house. Despite being in a t-shirt, he was immersed in the hot stuffiness of that night. The stench of alcohol stung his nostrils as he figure out where he was. Dull voices rang all around him, but he couldn’t make out any words. His memory didn’t have anything to provide. Almost as dark as it was in his room, low powered colored beams roamed across the ceiling and wall. Every now and then it glared into his eyes. Michael felt the ghost of someone bumping into him, and then another, and another.  _ This didn’t happen on Halloween _ , he thought. He soon realized though that without actual reality to keep him grounded, he was subject to his nightmare’s will. He had to get around. Surveying his surroundings, he found a door. Stumbling his way over, it seemed to get farther and farther. He needed sanctuary, but it seemed impossible to get there. He felt like he was sprinting to the door. Everytime he got closer, it just moved back though.

Michael ended up having to leap up to the door. His body hit the wood with a thud as he desperately yanked open the door. As the knob turned, his full weight made it rush inwards, as he fell down to the floor. Slamming it shut behind him, he quickly crawled into the bathtub. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he speedily hit call over Jeremy’s number. The number rang out four times before he picked up.

His groggy voice came through the speaker, “M’sup?” Michael couldn’t answer. He could only take in quick, shallow breaths every couple of seconds. Sensing his distress, Jeremy did his best to comfort his panicking companion. As he spoke, his voice was noticeably more awake. “Hey. Hey. Michael follow me. In. Out. In. Out. You’re fine. You are  _ okay _ . Just… I’m here. Listen to my voice.”

Michael tried to focus on the familiar sound, but in the moment, he could only think of one phrase. “ _ Get out of the way, loser.” _ He began to start mumbling into the phone, “Loser… Goddamnit… Loser… Fuck… I am a loser aren’t I?”

“What?... Michael… No. No you’re  _ not _ a loser, where did you get that idea?”

There was a moment of silence.

“I… Jeremy I heard that from you.”

“Wait, no-”

“Yes. Yes you did, okay? It was at, um, it was at the Halloween party, and I just,” by now, Michael was hyperventilating. He was struggling to get the words out. It was about time he told Jeremy about the events. “I pulled you into the bathroom because I had to, I had to warn you about the Squip. I told you, and you just said I was jealous. Then you pushed me out of the way and you called me a loser. And, it just… I felt so _fucking_ betrayed that night.”

Jeremy was at a loss for words. He didn’t know what to say to that. Cautiously, he tried to say, “Look, Michael, it was the-”

“No. No. No it wasn’t the Squip, Jere. It was you…” He took a moment to collect himself, thankful that they were on a call as he continued. “Before.. Before you said...  _ That, _ you seemed so happy to see me. Like you missed me. I… Really missed you. So fucking much you don’t even know, Jere. I was so excited, I threw away my whole, ‘you’re a shitty friend’ speech. I started to tell you about the Squip. As I said everything, I just watched as your face went from all happy to just absolute disgust. I just… Wow. I wanted to die Jeremy. I wanted to fucking  _ die. _ Have you ever been called a person by the only person you love? The only person you really care about in this world?  _ Do you know how that fucking feels?! _ I just…  _ Damnit _ , I love you too much… I just you’re the only person who means anything to me. When you said that… It was so… I felt worthless.”

Jeremy still sat silent on the end of the line. After a worrying fifteen seconds of waiting, he finally said, “Look… Michael. If it still means anything, I love you too. I have since-”

“I don’t need to hear you reciprocate my feelings. Just… Tell me I’m okay? Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”

Another beat passed.

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well well well sorry I got lazy at the end w h o o p s. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed!!! Find me on tumblr [@zellymaybloom](https://zellymaybloom.tumblr.com)!! Have a 10/10 v saucy day.


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